Soiled Doves Inn

Six days, so I've decided to count down. I swear to Dog, the things getting me through this besides my two awesome friends is chia pudding and pumpkin custard. If not for them, I would have said "fuck it!" long ago. Still enjoying how I feel and how I'm sleeping. Feel lighter and more awake, no run-down days anymore. So I've got to figure things out because I'm NOT doing this forever. To anyone entering the hell that is Whole30, get yourself a support network! That will make ALL the difference. I just have two friends doing it with me and we formed a secret Facebook group and we usually report in every day. We post recipes and just encourage. Oh, and Pinterest! Having a variety of foods will save your life, trust me. So, six more days!

So finishing up Whole30 and it was pretty eye-opening. I can't say I enjoyed it, but it made me realize my relationship with food. I'm sure I've lost weight, but little things that I just assumed were part of my life (bloating, heartburn) are gone. Since the only thing I changed was my diet, I've concluded that must be it. Figuring that out has been an interesting ride. I do miss sugar and alcohol, but not bad. Another thing it made me realize was that these little goals are very motivating, so I've decided to give myself a new challenge every month, revolving around things I know I need to change but haven't been able to get started with. November will be running a mile a day/30 miles in 30 days. I'll give myself the option of making it up in case there's a bad day. And I'll tell all of you about it! Come on October 30! I want a glass of wine!

Recently, because of an incredibly supportive significant other, I've started coming to terms with what it has meant in my life to be the daughter of a mother with severe mental illness, to be the sister of a woman with multiple handicaps, to be a smarter-than-average girl/woman, to be a girl/woman who had a lot of secrets, mostly family ones that she was expected to keep, to be a girl/woman who was bullied for being smart and/or less than attractive, to be a girl/woman who became "attractive" late in life and what that means in our society, and so many other things that I just thought I had to live with and didn't talk about it. And now I've been given permission to talk about it, and think about it, and admit it to myself, and bring it to light so it can die a healthy death. And I'm terrified. I'm terrified because I'm afraid of becoming that person who is defined by her problems. I'm afraid of being seen as a victim. I'm afraid of saying ...

So I figured out a great way to do this and stick to it: Do it with friends! Friends won't let you slip or make excuses. I've got a great support network this time and I really feel like I can do it. That being said, boy some of the people on the Whole 30 websites are mean and bossy! If they're not telling you that your fruit intake is WRONG because "it's the psychology, man" they're telling you to "read the labels and stop asking so many questions!" Well I have questions! You tell me that if the ingredients are compliant, then the thing is compliant, but then you tell me date paste is a no-no because.....I don't know why! Anyway, the people are more difficult to tolerate than the actual thing. So I'm sticking to the list and being as creative as I can within the confines of the program because honestly, it's boring. But I'm feeling awesome. And it's a fun challenge. Plus, it is forcing me to become more creative with m...