Self-worth..or not.
Yep, it's been almost a year since I last posted. Hmm. Must be the season. I really should get better about this.
So what prompted THIS bout of eloquence? I belong to an online health and fitness group. Mostly, I read and glean what I can. Rarely do I engage. Why? Well, to be blunt, it's a lot of whining I see and I just don't want to be a part of it. But I'm trying to be a nicer person and I figure everyone has something to teach, so I stay and watch. Here's a blurb that really got to me:
"How many of us have let people take advantage of us over the years? We take it and go on and take it out on our body. We don't feel like working out because we are depressed and feel like we don't deserve better. We eat crap because it really doesn't matter- obviously we are not worth much or whoever would not treat us this way."---random FB'er.
So not only is it extremely depressing that there are people, mainly women, who believe this tripe, but that they have felt it their entire life.
And here's the capper: I have never felt that I wasn't worthy. I have come to realize that some things aren't my cup of tea, I have decided that a relationship wasn't working for me and it was no one's fault, I have even felt that a job was a little more than I could handle, but I never felt unworthy. What makes this even stranger is that my parents and family made it very clear that I wasn't the center of their world pretty early in my childhood. I was smart, but not pretty. I was mature, but not social. I was great for parlor tricks (watch what Kimmy can read!) but if I wasn't doing that, I didn't require anything. I was capable, my sisters required attention. I was certainly fed and clothed, but I didn't get any external validation. So, early, I found my own inner voice that told me how great I was. How is it that one of the more fucked up things that can be visited on a child is the thing that gets you through as an adult?
The mind boggles.
So what prompted THIS bout of eloquence? I belong to an online health and fitness group. Mostly, I read and glean what I can. Rarely do I engage. Why? Well, to be blunt, it's a lot of whining I see and I just don't want to be a part of it. But I'm trying to be a nicer person and I figure everyone has something to teach, so I stay and watch. Here's a blurb that really got to me:
"How many of us have let people take advantage of us over the years? We take it and go on and take it out on our body. We don't feel like working out because we are depressed and feel like we don't deserve better. We eat crap because it really doesn't matter- obviously we are not worth much or whoever would not treat us this way."---random FB'er.
So not only is it extremely depressing that there are people, mainly women, who believe this tripe, but that they have felt it their entire life.
And here's the capper: I have never felt that I wasn't worthy. I have come to realize that some things aren't my cup of tea, I have decided that a relationship wasn't working for me and it was no one's fault, I have even felt that a job was a little more than I could handle, but I never felt unworthy. What makes this even stranger is that my parents and family made it very clear that I wasn't the center of their world pretty early in my childhood. I was smart, but not pretty. I was mature, but not social. I was great for parlor tricks (watch what Kimmy can read!) but if I wasn't doing that, I didn't require anything. I was capable, my sisters required attention. I was certainly fed and clothed, but I didn't get any external validation. So, early, I found my own inner voice that told me how great I was. How is it that one of the more fucked up things that can be visited on a child is the thing that gets you through as an adult?
The mind boggles.
Comments
Post a Comment