Way stations and wanderings
Seems like I've a million things pulling me in a million directions, and haven't been able to focus on one of them. But the truth of the matter is, I'm just losing my focus.
So here I am, trying to get back on track with focusing on a "thing" I've chosen the blog as my "thing" for now.
You guys! I think I'm buying a house!
I know, crazy, right? We're in the midst of the insanity and right at that point where I'm asking myself "WHY?" Why am I doing this? It's hard and costly and SO much trouble. There are endless papers to sign and endless meetings to have with endless people. What in the literal fuck am I doing? I'm really not quite adult enough to handle this, I don't think.
And now I'm going to sound like I'm getting off-track but stay with me:
I'm making my way through the Dark Tower series. I'm on book four, and I think I'm hooked. I always think anachronistic and fantasy go together really well, and there are very few stories of the type. At any rate, there's a lot of jumping between worlds and realities, and that's always fun. But I've been drawn to two concepts that have cropped up: way stations, which are a sort of resting area for people jumping between "whens" and "wheres" and ownership in the decidedly frontier sense of the word. I'm trying to find my mental way station, a place where I can stand and look at all the things going on and put them in some sort of understandable order so I can start tackling them. And that idea of ownership, having a place of your own, is something I've recently been longing for. I look at the house as a place that is mine (ok, and the husband's I guess :)) and I can make it truly my own. It represents something to me, I'm not sure what. Right now I only see the trouble and responsibility, but I know it's more than that. I just haven't found it yet.
That's where I am right now and I feel ok so far. Looking forward to moving forward.
So here I am, trying to get back on track with focusing on a "thing" I've chosen the blog as my "thing" for now.
You guys! I think I'm buying a house!
I know, crazy, right? We're in the midst of the insanity and right at that point where I'm asking myself "WHY?" Why am I doing this? It's hard and costly and SO much trouble. There are endless papers to sign and endless meetings to have with endless people. What in the literal fuck am I doing? I'm really not quite adult enough to handle this, I don't think.
And now I'm going to sound like I'm getting off-track but stay with me:
I'm making my way through the Dark Tower series. I'm on book four, and I think I'm hooked. I always think anachronistic and fantasy go together really well, and there are very few stories of the type. At any rate, there's a lot of jumping between worlds and realities, and that's always fun. But I've been drawn to two concepts that have cropped up: way stations, which are a sort of resting area for people jumping between "whens" and "wheres" and ownership in the decidedly frontier sense of the word. I'm trying to find my mental way station, a place where I can stand and look at all the things going on and put them in some sort of understandable order so I can start tackling them. And that idea of ownership, having a place of your own, is something I've recently been longing for. I look at the house as a place that is mine (ok, and the husband's I guess :)) and I can make it truly my own. It represents something to me, I'm not sure what. Right now I only see the trouble and responsibility, but I know it's more than that. I just haven't found it yet.
That's where I am right now and I feel ok so far. Looking forward to moving forward.
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