Soiled Doves Inn

So I completed the Whole 30! Did it and was damn proud of it. There were times when I didn't think I could, but I made it through. And boy, psychologically, did it make me realize a lot of things. I guess I didn't know how much my diet could affect my mood, but I discovered a lot of those "trigger" foods and doing my best to avoid them. Some of them I'm sad about. But honestly, one thing I realized was that getting THAT wrapped up in food was probably not good for me. I will at least make this a once-a-year thing. Whether I do it more often remains to be seen. It was NOT easy. In other news, I got engaged! Interesting, that. I'm not sure how it's supposed to work because in my brain, there's a lot of etiquette and tradition associated with it: two things I'm not a fan of. So I don't want to ignore those things because of that in case some things are just a good idea. There are few decisions I've made: No ceremony, just a really rad party....

Six days, so I've decided to count down. I swear to Dog, the things getting me through this besides my two awesome friends is chia pudding and pumpkin custard. If not for them, I would have said "fuck it!" long ago. Still enjoying how I feel and how I'm sleeping. Feel lighter and more awake, no run-down days anymore. So I've got to figure things out because I'm NOT doing this forever. To anyone entering the hell that is Whole30, get yourself a support network! That will make ALL the difference. I just have two friends doing it with me and we formed a secret Facebook group and we usually report in every day. We post recipes and just encourage. Oh, and Pinterest! Having a variety of foods will save your life, trust me. So, six more days!

So finishing up Whole30 and it was pretty eye-opening. I can't say I enjoyed it, but it made me realize my relationship with food. I'm sure I've lost weight, but little things that I just assumed were part of my life (bloating, heartburn) are gone. Since the only thing I changed was my diet, I've concluded that must be it. Figuring that out has been an interesting ride. I do miss sugar and alcohol, but not bad. Another thing it made me realize was that these little goals are very motivating, so I've decided to give myself a new challenge every month, revolving around things I know I need to change but haven't been able to get started with. November will be running a mile a day/30 miles in 30 days. I'll give myself the option of making it up in case there's a bad day. And I'll tell all of you about it! Come on October 30! I want a glass of wine!

Recently, because of an incredibly supportive significant other, I've started coming to terms with what it has meant in my life to be the daughter of a mother with severe mental illness, to be the sister of a woman with multiple handicaps, to be a smarter-than-average girl/woman, to be a girl/woman who had a lot of secrets, mostly family ones that she was expected to keep, to be a girl/woman who was bullied for being smart and/or less than attractive, to be a girl/woman who became "attractive" late in life and what that means in our society, and so many other things that I just thought I had to live with and didn't talk about it. And now I've been given permission to talk about it, and think about it, and admit it to myself, and bring it to light so it can die a healthy death. And I'm terrified. I'm terrified because I'm afraid of becoming that person who is defined by her problems. I'm afraid of being seen as a victim. I'm afraid of saying ...

So I figured out a great way to do this and stick to it: Do it with friends! Friends won't let you slip or make excuses. I've got a great support network this time and I really feel like I can do it. That being said, boy some of the people on the Whole 30 websites are mean and bossy! If they're not telling you that your fruit intake is WRONG because "it's the psychology, man" they're telling you to "read the labels and stop asking so many questions!" Well I have questions! You tell me that if the ingredients are compliant, then the thing is compliant, but then you tell me date paste is a no-no because.....I don't know why! Anyway, the people are more difficult to tolerate than the actual thing. So I'm sticking to the list and being as creative as I can within the confines of the program because honestly, it's boring. But I'm feeling awesome. And it's a fun challenge. Plus, it is forcing me to become more creative with m...

My move away from religion was a lifelong journey. I sought so many things that would help me feel spiritual but not disappoint me. Ultimately, there is just no way to get that clean feeling from any group that practices spirituality. Of that I am certain. So as an atheist, let me lay it all out there about my feelings regarding faith and those who practice it: I don't care what or who you worship, and I would never stand in the way of your ability to do that. Have fun, knock yourself out. I don't participate, but I don't skydive either. Doesn't mean you can't. But..... When you try to pass laws or make rules for the rest of us based on your belief system, that's not ok. When you use your belief system to oppress anyone, that's not ok. When you enjoy the tax-free status of a church, but are actively involved in politics, have a mansion  and/or private jet, or any of the other trappings of incredible wealth, that's not ok. My mother committed su...

So we will call the first 4 days practice. Today is gone because of the holiday. I should know better, but at least I've gotten some practice in on what I need to do. Tomorrow will be Day 1. And I will do it right. But today: Potato skins, wine and ice cream cake :)

I did forget to post and blog about it, but I did complete Juneathon! Yay! Some things I learned: 1) Changing eating habits isn't enough, at least for me. The extra activity had to happen to really feel the difference. 2) That being said, increased activity made me want to make better food choices. 3) I now know (mostly) which foods I need to avoid because they make me feel bloated and awful. I figured this out mainly due to the increased activity. So I'm going to try to keep up the daily activity, now that I'm used to it. But this month I'm also adding Whole30! Going to try to remember to blog pretty regularly about that experience. Since I'm in Day 3, I'm already behind. Suffice to say, I've got the Kindle version of the book, picked up Eat The Yolks at the library and I'm reading. The great thing is, I'm already paleo, so a lot of this stuff is just paleo when I do it right. Mistakes I've made: Wine yesterday. Sugar in my coffe...

Felt like I needed to recover from the hike, so I took a noon time walk. Exceeded my step goal for the day, so I'm good with that. Nothing inspiring to say today. Carry on.

If I'd listened everything that they said to me, I wouldn't be here! And if I took the time to bleed from  All the tiny little arrows shot my way, I wouldn't be here! The ones who don't do anything are always  The ones who try to put you down And you could spend your entire life walking around In the nowhere land of self doubt 'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive! It's time, it's time to align your body with your mind, it's hero time It's time, it's time to align your body with your mind, it's hero time 'Coz when you start to doubt yourself the real world will eat you alive! And you know it's true! I'm talking to you: hero time starts right now! Yeah, hero time, yeah, Time to shine, hey, hero time! If ya think you've got 100 years to mess around: you're wrong! This time it's real, why o you are t I m e I s n o w . . . it's hero time! Yeah, hero time,hey, time to...

Did mostly yard work today, but got in a little body weight working out. Honestly, I'd prefer that. I don't much care for going to the gym. Decided I'd give the gym a try, but it just didn't do it for me. Plus, I don't feel like it's making a lot of difference but I usually feel like I've done some work when I do body weight stuff. So that's started today. We will see.

Couch to 10K, Week 5, Day 3 is mean bitch! So I went from 2 eight minute blocks of running last session, and today I jumped up to one 20 minute running block! I don't look ahead, so I did NOT see this coming. But I did it. And didn't walk at all. Ok, stopped once when the dog had to pee, but that was it! Felt REALLY good afterwards. Actually ran for a long enough span that I got a second wind and that was brilliant. Thanks, Juneathon, for giving me the motivation.

Not a lot to report: Did a body weight workout, not very tough, but strength-building at least. I've decided that body weight workouts are much more effective and rewarding than going to the gym. So I'm going to stop the gym trips and work on a good body weight routine. I think I'll see strength results much faster and they'll be more dramatic. Remember: Strong is the new thin! Or black! Or whatever.

Did the Couch to 10K, Week 5, Day 2. There's a pretty significant jump in running time and I was a little worried. Going to 8 minutes at a time seemed a leap I couldn't keep up with. But I did! And it felt pretty good. It helps that the beginning of my run is more downhill and then the last part is uphill. Sounds weird, but it seems like the easier run gets me warmed up for the tough one and I'm able to get through it better. Anyway, Week 5 is almost in the bag and then there's the Week 6 jump. Ugh.

I DID do my Juneathon workouts, I just failed to blog them. Honest. I did. Day 11-was tough because I had a surgery lab all day, but did a walk when I came home. Not a lot, but I did it. Day 12-was supposed to be a running day, but did a Bob Harper workout instead. YUCK! Day 13-I forget what I did, but it was over 11,000 steps for the day. Day 14- was an INSANE 3.4 mile hike, with a 972 ft. gain in elevation. 80 floors, according to FitBit. Day 15-I might be a little short. Another surgery lab, and I don't know how much I'll get in, but I have to prepare the house for the boys so hopefully it will be good. Nothing interesting to blog about, and no creative head stuff happening. Ask me tomorrow.

Today was a running day. Ugh. Couch to 10K, Week 5, Day 1. Day one of ANY week on the Couch program is difficult, at least for me. That's the day that everything bumps up a notch. Probably also the reason the program works so damn well. Today is also the day I decided to register for the Warrior Dash. I've done it before, and loved it, so this time I'm taking a couple of noobs with me. I LOVE introducing people to stuff like this. It's always fun getting them hooked on something that's fun and good for us. Plus, mud and beer! This year, I'm running as a St. Jude's Warrior, too. St. Jude's did so much for my family and they are one of my favorite charities. I have a sister who, in addition to severe CP, blindness and deafness, was also very frail, especially when she was young. They took such good care of her whenever she was with them and they were such a good support network for us. Here's my page if you feel compelled to donate: Kim's S...

Day 9 involved the gym: I usually go to the gym pretty early in the morning because it's dead. Cardio machines might be taken but that's ok, because I head straight for the weight room. I usually like to be alone in the weight room. Not generalizing here, but many men treat the weight room like their own personal domain and me, in my feminine skin, am an interloper. Then, like the good row in a movie theater, seats being saved everywhere. All the guys throw their towels down on all conceivable surfaces and I'm resigned to the crappy little weight bench with the broken headrest that's stuck in the corner. While they strut slowly from machine to machine, I skitter around like a mouse, trying to figure out where they're going so I can go to my next station. I just want to scream for him to pick a spot! Quit wandering around looking like you're going to do something! I don't give a fuck about the grunting and noises, just go with a plan so you can free up the...

Today was a warm day, and yesterday was an "overdid it" day, so a scenic walk around the lake was in order. Still logged 2.2 miles, just a little more leisurely than a morning run would have been. That's all. Mondays suck.

Sunday is always an ambitious day, especially with the good weather. So I decided on a bike ride for my exercise today. I had been doing 20+ miles pretty regularly, so I felt like a slacker if I did less. I headed in a direction I hadn't gone very often and promptly got myself lost. So I went back the other way. When all was said and done, I logged 18.7 miles. A little short but I was happy. But then I came home, noticed the rain was coming and that the grass was just a little long. So I mowed the lawn. All of this made for a very long day. But I felt accomplished. I think tomorrow will have to be a lighter day though.

Was done on time but forgot to blog about my early morning run. Couch to 10K week 4, Day 3. It was tough but did it all, no extra walking. 

Always hard to keep up the goals on weekends. But I managed with a little help from the dog. History shows that when she doesn't get exercise, she's pretty unbearable. So a 2.6 mile walk around the lake is in the bag. Plus, some housework.

I'll tell you a secret: I want to be a superhero. Or a super villain. Honestly, I'm not very picky. All of my workouts, especially the tough ones, involve envisioning my superhero/villain body. That's why when I fall off the exercise wagon, I fall hard. Zero motivation. Because not only have I failed in my health and fitness goals, but I've failed the Universe! Delusional? Maybe. But when I'm in, I'm ALL in. That being said, I completed Day 4 of Juneathon *cheers* Today was a lower body circuit training. Got my little legs pumping, I did. Yay me! I may be a little short for a superhero, but I'm thinking super villain is right up my alley.

After what seemed like YEARS of rain and cold (which is unusual for this time of year in Colorado) things are finally starting to dry up and feel like summer. Today's run, while not exactly easy, was so pleasant. Warm enough for a tank top, even at 5am and felt energized and happy by the time the sun came up. Drank our smoothies outside under our tree and just enjoyed the morning. I rarely take the time to enjoy the morning. I think I'll start doing that more. On to the official stuff: C210K Week 4 Day 3, 31 minutes, probably about 2.4 miles. Slow, but done.

I'm a "late to the game" athlete. I didn't discover exercise and eating right until WELL into my 30's. And even then, it was pretty hit and miss. I was in Judo most of my childhood, stopped in my teens and then rediscovered it in college. Went back to it again in my 30s because I had some things to prove. And then I realized I have a LOT of things to prove, and voila! My love affair with physical fitness began! One thing I hadn't really gotten into was running. Then a friend mentioned a running club out of a local pub. Well, it WAS one of my favorite pubs and then there was free beer and food at the end???? What!?!?! So I went. And walked most of the 5K trail. But I went every week to run/walk the route and reward myself with beer and food at the end. To this day, I still need to have some reward after a run :) Anyway, the point of all this is that in past couple of years I've gotten a little too comfortable and gained more weight than I wanted. So I n...

For those not familiar with Juneathon, here are the rules: Run or do some form of exercise every day. Blog or tweet (#juneathon) or post on the  Juneathon Facebook Group  page about it within 24 hours. Join the Juneathon group at the  Running Free  website and log your runs/exercise. This is optional, but it's fun to see the miles build up for everyone. Visit other blogs and leave comments, giving your support. And that's about it really. Good luck! Here's the website: http://www.juneathon.com/index.html I didn't run today, because yesterday was an epic bike ride (26 miles!) and legs were still uck this morning. So I did a lunchtime walk of 2.6 miles.  Admittedly, ramping up the activity lately has taken some getting used to. I'm sleeping REALLY well, but I have about 25 lbs. to lose and with extra weight comes less energy. Anyone else feeling me on this? Because us Wide Bottoms gotta stick together, right?  Speaking of ...

Hope when you take that jump, you don't fear the fall Hope when the water rises, you built a wall Hope when the crowd screams out, they're screaming your name Hope if everybody runs, you choose to stay Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad The only way you can know is give it all you have And I hope that you don't suffer but take the pain Hope when the moment comes, you'll say... I, I did it all I, I did it all I owned every second that this world could give I saw so many places, the things that I did With every broken bone, I swear I lived Hope that you spend your days, but they all add up And when that sun goes down, hope you raise your cup Oh, I wish that I could witness all your joy and all your pain But until my moment comes, I'll say... Lately, this song has just been speaking to a deep part of me. I can't stop hearing it or singing it.  Midlife crisis? Or just a life reassessment?  You know how sometimes a blessing somet...

When I found out I was going to become a parent, I spent those nine months doing a LOT of soul-searching and researching because I wanted to solidify what kind of parent I wanted to be. I was young. Twenty-two is not terribly young, but young enough. I was single, but honestly that didn't bother me as much as you would think. I had confidence that I could do this. But, unfortunately, the only parental role models I had were, well, my parents. And frankly, they weren't all that great at it. Don't get me wrong: I wasn't abused or starved or anything so horrendous. But they weren't GOOD at it. Add to that, my mother was mentally ill, and untreated. So, the first admission I had to make was that I was raised by a very mentally ill, probably bipolar, woman, and that was certainly not the parent I wanted to be. So decision #1: Don't be your mom. Easy enough, right? Except what I wasn't willing to admit was that I wasn't 100% mentally healthy myself. I was...